Location Los Angeles, CA
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Friday. 11.5.21 9:59 pm
I’m surprised this still exists, and that I didn’t delete my account when I tried to purge my teen identity from the internet to appear more professional in my 20s.
It’s strange re-reading the things you thought were worth sharing with the world but you have since forgotten. I do still retain vague memories of how the community on this site actually felt like a community and how I genuinely looked forward to sharing this space with you all even though I now realize I never got to know you. It’s also strange because I feel like my relationship to the internet is now so calloused by so many layers of irony, consumerism, and anxiety that I can no longer imagine what the experience of being a teen on the internet in the aughts was like — how unprepared we were for what the internet would become.
I found an email that from a nutang member that reminded me i handed out invites to claim gmail accounts before gmail had become almost synonymous with email. I truly had no idea what power Google would wield. That it’s control over our digital identities could be leveraged for such high profit. Or that the internet would be retooled to become a massive, planetary scale shopping catalog. It’s weird to think that if Dave played his cards differently he could have been brought in front of congress to be interrogated for nutang’s influence in elections or even the rohyinga genocide. (Sorry Dave!)
I’m not sure if what I feel is nostalgia because i also feel the cringe of my naïveté & unfiltered exuberance/weirdness. I can’t tell if i was more or less connected with my emotional self. In a way it appears more honest— in the sense of unfiltered, but then again less reflective or internally penetrating. Like flurries of superficial outburst. Anyway, I now feel like I’m ranting. What I wanted to do is leave another post behind for whoever else is reminded of this site and to say thank you all for having a weird intangible but not ephemeral influence on me and who I am now.
College. entry number two
Wednesday. 12.21.11 4:49 pm
First time in Three Years
Friday. 12.10.10 3:12 am
It looks like I haven't been here since I started going to College. Now it's three years later. I start writing my senior thesis in a month or so. I feel like I am such a radically different person. Writing now, I am getting a glimpse of the future: the web will be a collection of ruins and relics long abandoned. We will revist our teen monuments to ourselves, to be reminded of public secrets long forgotten, and be filled with that eerie sensation that we have never been ourselves.
Saturday. 9.8.07 3:34 am
I'm not use to being so popular.
I no wanna partay.
I just wanna reed a book k!?
...as i write at 3:34
'nough said: I'm stilling having tons o fun.
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